


when i think of home, i think of you

by ddeulgi



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, like a lot, minayeon just make out a lot, surprise? no angst lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 13:31:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14113410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddeulgi/pseuds/ddeulgi
Summary: They are enough.





	when i think of home, i think of you

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted on aff
> 
> bits and pieces of this fic were inspired by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dRo5Kbgx6c) mv!! the song is one of my favourites too!! please do give it a listen : )

Mondays suck. They're long and boring and it always feels like there's a two ton rock on her shoulders by the end of it. Her shirt smells like week old beer and she hopes she'll remember to throw it in the wash when she gets back home. The sky is a color she likes the most, somewhere between a fiery orange and a smoldering yellow, and it's hot and burns off into a multitude of black and greys in a way she’s far too familiar with when the lighter clicks and the smoke bites at her throat in the ugliest way and fills her lungs right up to the brim.  

She doesn't know how long she's been waiting here. She never really does.

The silence that follows the blackening skies is more than welcomed though, most of her days spent listening to people who can't really sing and people who get too drunk and then too loud and too annoying. She likes it, somewhat; the click of her lighter and the occasional hum of an engine is just enough background noise to leave her to own her thoughts. 

It gives her time to think — you know, go through all the basics. 

Nayeon. Im Nayeon. Mondays are her least favourite day of the week. Her favourite colour is somewhere in between orange and yellow. Smoking is bad, what she smokes is _definitely_ bad, and when she exhales, it’s probably more nicotine and tar than carbon dioxide. She serves cheap beer to people who probably shouldn't drink anymore than they already have and gets paid with an amount that can't even last her two months but she makes it work. She's in love with Myoui Mina.

And that's kind of it. That's all she really has to her name, besides the worn clothes on her back and a creaky bed and pillow that feel a little too much like rocks back at home. 

The sky is now dark, all the pretty yellows and reds faded out into a gloomy grey. It feels kind of sad, just a little, when people start coming out of the karaoke bar in intervals; some give her looks that Nayeon can't discern whether it's pity or disgust, and others don’t even bother. And when it feels like she's been waiting here for hours too long, the door opens and there's a click of heels Nayeon's far too familiar with. The blunt in her fingers feel a little heavier the closer the clicks gets and ultimately, she lets it drop from her fingers and scuffs it with the front of her shoe, more than half still unfinished but that's alright. Anything for her. 

"Hey," she says — croaks, almost. The clicks come to a sudden halt, the girl stopping right next to her, and Nayeon lets her eyes wonder. Her shoes are a lot shinier than she remembers, probably a lot more expensive than she recalls, too. Her dress is a little too tight and a little too short and it rides up a lot more than she likes when the other girl shifts in her spot. 

"Hey," the girl replies, soft. Nayeon tears her gaze away.  

"It's cold out,” Nayeon unties her jacket from around her waist and immediately puts it on the girl's shoulders. "I told you to bring your jacket, Mina." 

"You know I can't do that." Mina reminds her for what seems like the umpteenth time, but she welcomes Nayeon's jacket nonetheless. There's an arm then wrapped around her shoulder, and Nayeon's smiling so, _so_ softly at her, like they're the only two people in the world that matter right now. Like it's not two in the morning and they're not standing in front of a dingy karaoke bar in the crappiest part of town. 

"You smell terrible," Mina notes and Nayeon laughs because well, yeah, she does.

"Some wasted asshole spilled a beer on me. It wasn't his, so—" And both of them know that's not what Mina's referring to, but she gets cut off with a sudden kiss to the side of her neck anyway, Mina burying herself against her side as they start walking to the car.  

"That's not where my mouth is," she jokes even though she knows exactly the reason why Mina won't kiss her properly.

"I don't kiss you after you—"

"— _I_ smoke. I know, I know," she finishes for Mina. "I'm trying. I promise." 

"You say that every time,” Mina says and there's a sudden hardness in her voice that Nayeon feels herself shrink at. 

"Yeah," she breathes out, can't really bring herself to deny something that they both know is true. She opens the car door for Mina and the girl slips in without another word. "I do."

Her fingers itch and she shoves her hands in her pockets and suddenly all she can think about is how she wasted a perfectly good joint, how she threw at least thirty bucks down on the ground and squashed it like it was nothing. She swallows, throat working tight underneath her skin, and there's a burn in her chest she wants to get rid of but then that means— 

"Give me a minute, Mina. I need to do something."  

Mina knows. Nayeon  _knows_ she does, but she pretends that she doesn't, and it drives her insane because Mina _knows_ and she can just tell her _no_ but she doesn't. Instead, her reply is soft and quiet as usual: 

"Don't take too long, I'm tired and I haven't showered yet."  

Nayeon shuts the car door and walks a considerable distance away, but Mina hears it all in her ears anyway. The click of the lighter. The sharp inhale. The darkness and the dread and all the generous helpings of cigarette smoke and death that slips into Nayeon's veins and bleeds into her lungs and threatens to take her away from Mina any minute from now. 

"I'm trying,” Nayeon repeats to nobody in particular, joint between her teeth and thumb pressing down on the lighter repeatedly. Flick. Let go. Flick. Let go. The smoke burns in her throat, leaves trails of fire down to her lungs and it's _so_ bad and _so_ good at the same time. "I'm trying." 

I'm _trying_ , she wants to run up to Mina and tell her, _I'm not trying._

 

-

 

A little more than halfway this time and she scuffs it. Make that sixty dollars on the ground, smeared all over the bottom of her shoe. This time, she decides Mina is much more important than a couple hours of feeling good. She pops two sticks of mint gum in her mouth and gets in the car without much of a word, the engine stalling for a few seconds before revving to life. 

"You told me you were trying," Mina says quietly, so quiet that Nayeon  _almost_ doesn't catch it. A tiny part of her wishes she didn’t. 

Her arms feel light and her grip is tight on the wheel. Her head should hurt, just like it always does when Mina starts going off on something that Nayeon knows she can't change with just a couple words, but it doesn't and Nayeon doesn't know if it's a good or bad thing. The lighter in her pocket feels hot and heavy, like it's going to burn a hole in her pants and set her on fire and a little part of Nayeon wishes it does. 

Mina does not deserve this. Any of this. 

"I am," she manages to say, head hazy but eyes still trained on the road. Thank God they don't live too far from here. "You know I am, Mina. Quit it." 

"Then what was _that?_ "

Nayeon goes quiet. Her mouth is dry and her tongue feels way too thick too talk. Her eyelids start feeling heavy and her head droops just a tiny bit and Mina scowls, reaches over to smack her roughly on the arm. “You told me you’d stop," she states the obvious and Nayeon has the nerve to laugh a little at that. By now, they've reached back home and Nayeon switches the gear into park and leans against her seat heavily.

"I can't believe you," and Mina's going off on her own again, hastily opening the door and slamming it shut. Nayeon cocks her head to the side slightly to look up at Mina through the window.  

And Mina knows Nayeon doesn't have anything to say in response, "You _promised_ me."

Mina stomps in and Nayeon doesn’t move, doesn’t even flinch. Not because she doesn't want to deal with Mina right now or because her limbs feel too heavy and she doesn't want to move. But because she promised Mina and she doesn’t know how many times she'll break them again and again and again and Nayeon just doesn't _know_ any other way to go in after Mina without feeling like the biggest asshole on Earth and disappointing her even more.   

"I promised you _so_ many times," she breathes out, a hand shoving deep into her pockets. She pulls out a case and in it, five rolled up cigarettes left in total. Nayeon doesn't know what hits her last minute, but her hands slam into the wheel angrily even though her arms feel like they've got two ton bricks strapped on them and she can't think properly, every single one of her thoughts rerouting right back to Mina. Her palms are red and they hurt and burn in a way she deserves and her face is hot and all of a sudden, she's crying and all the cigarettes are thrown out the window, far away from her, far away from Mina, far away from _them_.

(She’s done this before. Multiple times. She knows she’ll come back out here later and pick them all back up. Habits, unfortunately, don’t die as easily as she’d like them to.)

  

-

 

Mina’s dress is pooled at her ankles when she walks in, strappy heels tossed haphazardly beside the bed, and the door creaks close behind her squeaky footsteps. She isn’t wearing anything underneath, as usual, and the only thing she does is throw a look back at Nayeon, wave a toothbrush and a nearly empty tube of toothpaste at her, and turn toward the bathroom. 

Eyes red, Nayeon’s already undoing the buttons of her shirt and tripping over her pants when she races into the bathroom and Mina’s already got the shower turned on.

“I’m still mad at you,” Mina says when Nayeon slides the shower door open almost shyly, appearance akin to a sad puppy of sorts, “but you _stink_. Get in here.”

(Mina always says she’s mad, but the way she splashes water at Nayeon’s face first thing whilst trying to bite back a grin says otherwise.) 

 

-

 

It's easier to take a shower together because the water bill’s a lot cheaper and Mina prefers it when Nayeon's there to scrub down her back and wash her hair for her, although it’s more making out than shampooing these days.

The water's hotter than it needs to be, the glass around them fogging up completely, and Nayeon's rinsing the conditioner out of her hair, water droplets flicking at Mina. 

“I’m sorry,” she says suddenly.

“For what?” Mina can’t stand the way Nayeon’s looking at her, eyes red and puffy, so instead, she squeezes the toothpaste onto the toothbrush and sticks it in her mouth for her.

“Fo— For,” she struggles, toothbrush moving in all sorts of directions as she tries to scrub and talk at the same time. She ends up spitting some toothpaste at Mina and then they’re both laughing, toothpaste dripping from Nayeon’s mouth and coating her chin. 

Mina forces her head under the showerhead, fingers scrubbing away all the remnants of minty froth on her skin but also (purposely) getting water all over her face.  

“For,” she spits out the rest of the toothpaste, dragging Mina closer and pulling her under the showerhead with her. The other girl makes a sound of protest, yells something incoherent about washing her hair yesterday before Nayeon shuts her up, lips sliding against hers easily, just like clockwork.

“For everything,” she breathes out moments later, space between them minuscule and voice nearly drowned out by the running water, and it’s funny because there’s water everywhere and Nayeon's trying so, so hard to keep her eyes open without letting water get into them. Mina can’t help but to laugh even more, soft and pretty and it’s all enough to show her silver tooth, with hands sliding up to scrub at Nayeon’s face. 

“I know,” is all she says before Nayeon thinks it’s a good idea to kiss her under the running water — again! — and then she’s a spluttering mess not even four seconds later because water gets in her mouth and goes down the wrong pipe. 

(They let the water run hot until the glass turns opaque, laugh at each other little more, and make out a lot more. Repeat, until Mina’s fingers get tangled in Nayeon’s hair and Nayeon gets a whole mouthful of soapy water and almost slips and cracks her head open.) 

It tastes more like shower water than anything, more soap on their tongues than on their own bodies, more impromptu dancing and singing (and then slipping) than actual showering, but Mina thinks she wouldn’t trade _this_ for anything else in the world. 

 

-

 

Nayeon crashes first, sinking right down into the old mattress. Her t-shirt's worn and already riding up from all her movement and the pillow is lumpy and entirely too uncomfortable but it's been with them for far too long and they can't let go of it just yet. She smells more like cheap mint than off-brand Japanese cherry blossoms, with remnants of smoke still clinging onto her skin no matter how many times or how hard Mina scrubs, but she supposes neither of them really can help it at this point. Mina's slipped on one of Nayeon's oversized tees — she’s got (cute) panties on, too, probably, but that's all — the one where it droops a little on one shoulder and barely stops past her upper thighs.  

Mina hops onto the mattress and it creaks shrilly, but she crawls over and on top of her anyway, settling herself comfortably on top of her hips. 

“Tell me about your day," Nayeon says, fingers idly toying with the hem of Mina’s shirt. 

“Same old, same old,” Mina replies, soft, “though there was one guy that kept paying extra for me to pour his drink.”

“Yeah?” Nayeon cracks a small smile that doesn’t belong in their conversation.

“It’s enough for double pancakes tomorrow morning.” Mina raises a brow and Nayeon leans back with a sleepy smile. “I mean, if you want, of course."

Nayeon’s palms are hot against her bare thighs, fingers drumming against skin as she shifts underneath her. “Are you asking me on a date?”

“Maybe,” she grins down at the girl, hands sliding up to smooth down Nayeon’s shoulders, “do you want to go on a date with me?” 

Mina leans down a little too quickly before Nayeon can reply, lips meeting each others' lazily. It’s slow, languid, soft in all the ways she expects. Her hands press harder down on Nayeon’s shoulders, deepening the kiss with a familiar dash of tongue, and Nayeon relaxes completely underneath her, feeling a little bit like jelly. 

The first thing Nayeon registers is the faint taste of strawberries and mint, and then it's Mina. All Mina. The same Mina that fills her up to the very brim, the one that clouds all of her mind and vision, the same one that makes her feel like she has everything in the entire world underneath her fingertips. There’s a soft suck to the swell of her bottom lip and a shy, satisfied smile on Mina's face when they separate just barely, and Nayeon squeezes in one last lick, right over Mina’s lips before the other girl pulls away completely. 

The laugh Mina gives her afterwards is tired, yet nothing short of affectionate. Nayeon thinks she feels her heart soar. 

Mina rolls off of her, slips easily right next to her, bodies moulding together, and Nayeon wastes no time, an arm wrapping around her girlfriend almost immediately.

They don't talk anymore. Mina's drifting off a little bit earlier than usual and Nayeon doesn't make an effort to keep her awake any longer. 

"I love you," she whispers after minutes of silence, fingers lightly brushing the skin just where Mina's shirt ends. "I love you so much, and I wish it could be better for us." 

There isn’t a response, and Nayeon guesses that Mina’s already asleep or she’s too sleepy to murmur a response. Her breathing’s slow and steady, parallel to her heartbeat underneath her skin, and Nayeon presses a kiss to the tip of her nose anyway. With the way Mina burrows herself closer against her front, she likes to think Mina’s heard her loud and clear despite the lack of a verbal reply.

It doesn't take long for Nayeon herself to fall asleep, mouth agape and curled right up against Mina with a leg thrown over her hip habitually. 

A few moments later, Mina shifts, not yet entirely asleep. There’s a hand that slides down Nayeon’s jaw softly, pushing her mouth close. Another kiss pressed square against her mouth. Their faces are inches apart from each other, noses brushing and breaths hot, and Mina thinks she might be able to lay here forever, as long as Nayeon’s here, breathing soft and blood coursing, here and only _here_. 

"I have you,” Mina breathes out, suddenly and airily. The room's pitch black and it smells like stale smoke and hints of their shared vanilla shampoo, but it’s nothing short of what Mina calls home. “You're already everything I could ever ask for." 

 

-

 

“You kicked me in the stomach last night,” Nayeon murmurs sleepily, one eye cracking open just the slightest.

The sun’s starting to bleed through the cracks in the blinds, washing over Mina’s pale skin and Nayeon gives herself a few moments to drink in the pretty sight completely. 

Mina doesn’t reply, just hums, and digs her face deeper against the curve of Nayeon’s neck.

“It hurt,” she continues, fingertips tracing up Mina’s spine, “a lot.”

Mina makes a sound, somewhere between a groan and poorly articulated _leave me alone_. Nayeon laughs. 

“Are you going to do something about it? Maybe kiss it better?” 

A few beats of a silence. A delayed kick sent right to her shin. A strangled whimper deep in her throat. 

Nayeon’s lips press down into a thin line from the lack of early morning entertainment she’s getting (and the painful kick), but she doesn’t bother Mina anymore, settling for pressing a multitude of kisses across the sleeping girl’s face instead. Mina doesn’t mind, for the most part, she supposes, because she only told her to stop once before falling back asleep completely. 

She’s all messy hair and an achy back (as always, thanks to their mattress) when she decides to clamor out of bed with the profligacy of a fourteen-year-old boy after a few more minutes of watching her girlfriend sleep peacefully. Mina rolls over and into the warm dip she’s left, onto her stomach, shirt shifting up with all the movement. 

“Babe,” Nayeon says, sleep still tugging at the end of her words, “get up.” 

Mina doesn’t even move.

“Babe,” she tries again, “you owe me pancakes today. Get up.”

A part of her tells her to let Mina sleep some more, and another part of her tells her that she’s kind of really, _really_ craving pancakes. The growl from her stomach that follows after her thoughts is of absolutely no help. So, she settles for the next best thing (read: the _worst_ thing):

There’s a smack landed square on Mina’s panty-clad ass that has the girl shooting up so fast and Nayeon, more than aware of the consequences of her actions, trips on her discarded pants from last night almost immediately when she tries to break out into a run toward the bathroom. 

Mina merely smacks her ass in return  _—_ a little too hard!  _—_ out of revenge when she passes her seconds later, practically twirling into the bathroom with the most pompous ass smile Nayeon's ever seen on her face.

 

-

 

Their bathroom isn’t made to cater to more than one person in it. The lights have never  _—_ and probably _will_ never, in this lifetime  _—_ work properly. The sink is sometimes leaky, and the hot and cold handles are mismatched (and Nayeon still, to this day, messes it up almost every single time). There’s an old, portable radio set up on the shelf above the toilet that’s more occasional static than actual music, but it’s still tuned into some obscure radio station that only plays songs that remind Mina of rainy days, cold coffee, and dusty books on the back shelves of bookstores that no one really visits.

Nayeon’s elbow bangs against the wall whenever she brushes a little too hard, and sometimes she bumps into Mina when she’s trying to reach for the mouthwash. Sometimes Mina elbows her in the ribs when she’s washing her face, and sometimes they knock each other’s toothbrushes out of each other’s hands, sometimes on purpose and sometimes on accident.  

Today, Nayeon accidentally swallows some toothpaste when Mina’s elbow comes a little too close to her face, and Mina leaves a toothpaste print of her lips on Nayeon’s cheek as an apology. 

Sometimes  _—_ most of the time  _—_ it's more kissing than actual teeth brushing. 

It’s after Mina scrubs at Nayeon’s cheek with a wet palm and gets that last bit of toothpaste down the drain, and then suddenly Nayeon drops both their toothbrushes in the sink and knocks the toothpaste down to the floor. It’s quick, how she lifts Mina up onto the sink counter, and the other girl lets out a surprised yelp at the sudden cold surface against her skin and accidentally knees Nayeon in the side. 

It’s funny, for the most part, and they’re laughing at each other like school girls for a good half a minute before they lean into each other like clockwork, lips familiar against each other’s. It’s long and slow, lazy at most, and Mina likes it the best when Nayeon kisses her like this, like they’re the only two people in the world, like they’re high schoolers all over again, and the only concerns in their lives right now is how _right_ this moment is. 

Nayeon’s working her fingers underneath the waistband of Mina’s panties, pressing closer against the girl, before there’s a sudden thud and Mina’s knocked the back of her head against the mirror behind her.

Mina makes a noise, sounds like it hurts, and then Nayeon’s laughing again, this time against her mouth and their teeth click against each other on accident, which in turn, makes Mina laugh, too, despite the pain blossoming at the back of her head. (This isn’t the first time this happened.) 

There’s a hand that comes up to cradle the back of her head softly, fingertips rubbing small, smoothing circles against her scalp. Nayeon kisses her one last time, a couple giggles here and there  _—_ it’s sweet, innocent almost, and Mina’s lips tingle when she pulls away, partly because she’s always left in a daze after Nayeon kisses her and partly because of the remnants of mint Nayeon leaves on her mouth.  

There’s something about the way Nayeon looks at her, eyes lidded and lips quirked into a half smile, that makes her heart burn in the best and worst of ways. She doesn’t think she’ll ever be tired of this, because Nayeon glows red — skin swirling with colour, pink dusted all over her cheeks — when her eyes ghost over the way she looks so, _so_ well-kissed and how her chest rises up and down slowly in order to pull back in all the oxygen Mina’s taken from her.

Something bubbles up deep in her chest, building up heavy like a crescendo. It makes her heart inflate ten times bigger and all of it feels an awful lot like something along the lines of love. She leans her forehead against Nayeon’s, just to get some kind of contact between them because it feels like her heart's going to float away any minute from now if she doesn’t hold on to the only thing that’ll always keep her anchored here, only _here_ and nowhere else.

It’s moments like these that feels like the world stops, just for the two of them, and a small part of Mina wishes it’ll never start again. 

 

-

 

(Nayeon’s slipped on whatever hoodie she found first in a questionable clothes pile, but otherwise clean (or so she thinks), and Mina’s back on the bed again, sprawled on her stomach as she scrolls mindlessly through her phone. Instagram, or whatever. Nayeon doesn’t really find the time to care, at least not when she’s given this first thing when she walks back into the room:

Mina hasn’t changed yet, and Nayeon has a feeling deep in her gut she wasn’t ever planning to. She sends Nayeon an awfully smug look when she meets her confused gaze, phone tossed off to the side as she shimmies her way underneath the sheets again. 

Nayeon’s mouth opens to protest quickly, for the sake of her terribly grumbly tummy and all the pancakes that _could_ be in her stomach right now, but all of her words are forced back down her throat when Mina’s head peeks out from the covers once again, smile naughty as a hand sticks out, high and proud, panties held with two fingers only and then dropped to the floor not a beat later. Nayeon feels that heat pool at the base of her neck, face already turning an unbelievable shade of red.  

Hunger, a different kind, licks up in her system, and she wastes almost no time, knees sinking into the mattress with a creak of protest as she makes her way under the sheets. Mina laughs, tells her to slow down, but Nayeon knows she doesn’t really mean much by it. She can practically _feel_  how much Mina wants her already, and she hasn’t even touched her yet. Her hands find purchase on Mina’s bare thighs, sliding down, and she hears a gasp she likes when she bites lightly at her inner thigh. 

Pancakes, she decides when hands rake through her hair and she presses her tongue against the skin of Mina’s inner thigh, deviously close to making Mina cry already, can wait another day.)

 

 

-

 

Their “pancake" date turns into a burger date as soon as the afternoon rolls by. Nayeon’s stomach is still unrelenting, and with a laugh pressed up against her mouth, Mina suggests burgers once she’s out of the shower. Nayeon shoots up from bed almost immediately at the mention of _any_  kind of food, pockets the car keys, and makes a beeline for the car. 

Her shoe scuffs something when she’s got a hand on the car door. It strikes a chord within her and it's familiar, how the stick feels rolling underneath the sole of her shoe. 

For a moment, she hesitates. She wonders if she could do it, quit maybe, or if she hates herself enough to bend down and pick it back up and pocket it for later. The latter sounds really good, despite how heavy her heart feels. Her throat goes dry at the thought, and her fingers twitch. 

_You promised me._

Nayeon sucks in a quick breath, leg moving on its own, and feels the cigarette break underneath the bottom of her shoe. 

She turns, sees another one. Squish. Back there. Squish. Over there, another one. Repeat.

She counts a total of five times. The only time she bends down is to pick up the case.

The feeling is weird, and it builds up in the back of her chest, hot and heavy. Overwhelming, almost. Her fingers twitch once again, and she curls them hard around the cigarette case. Her heart’s telling her that this is good, good for her, good for Mina, that this is what she wants and yes, yes, _yes_ _—_ this is all she’s ever wanted and needed. Her mind, however, teeters on the edge with the thoughts of _what did you just do?_ and _you know you need them_ and it’s already starting to drive her insane.

She gets into the car without much more of a thought though something bitter builds deep in the pit of her stomach. Whatever. What’s done is done. 

Mina comes out moments later, in a worn jean jacket that’s hers and a pair of shorts she vaguely remembers pulling off two nights ago. _She’s so pretty_ , Nayeon can’t help but to think, _but what the hell have you done to deserve her?_ She can only offer the other girl a weak smile, and passes the empty cigarette case to her first thing when she slips into the seat next to her. 

“Why are you giving this to me?” Mina doesn’t look particularly happy to see the cigarette case, but she takes it anyway, fumbles with it for a few moments before clicking it open. 

It’s a few beats of silence that follow, and the look Mina gives her afterwards is indecipherable. Nayeon grins, shaky.

Mina looks like she’s going to cry only seconds later, hands reaching over to grab her by the collar, and then she’s pulling her in for a kiss right over the console. It’s messy and entirely all mouth and no (usual) tongue, with Mina more than generous with her teeth this time around, but Nayeon feels all the jumbled emotions she’s trying to convey anyway, feels her heart balloon right up in her chest with the way Mina’s hands move to cup her face tenderly. 

“I promised you,” she murmurs into Mina’s mouth, teeth catching at her bottom lip softly. 

Mina hums, pulls away just slightly, and presses their foreheads together. “You always promise me.”

It sounds a lot nicer than it feels, feels like she deserves it though, and it digs into the edges of her heart in a way she isn’t familiar with. Nayeon presses one last kiss against her lips, just a brief smack, a pinky raising up in the space between them. 

“A pinky promise? We aren’t five, Na––"

“I _promised_ you,” she reiterates with a little more conviction this time, pinky wiggling. 

Mina hesitates, can’t help to feel like she’s promising on something broken already. Nayeon doesn’t blame her. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Nayeon repeats, and Mina locks their pinkies together. “Okay.”

 

-

 

Their burgers are a little too greasy, fries hot, and the drive-thru boy forgets Mina’s ketchup. (Again.)

She’s whiny, as expected when she doesn’t get her extra, extra ketchup, and Nayeon has to turn back around and personally go in and take two handfuls of the ketchup packets, with the same drive-thru boy staring at her the whole time.  

“That’s gross,” Nayeon says, nose crinkling when she catches way too much ketchup dripping from the sides of Mina’s burger in her peripheral.  

“You’re gross,” Mina tosses back at her without much of a thought. The light turns red and the car comes to a slow stop, and Mina allows herself this moment to take a bite out of her burger, even more ketchup dropping down to the paper wrap on her lap.  

Nayeon ignores her snark, “To think that I kiss _that_ , too.” Mina whines when too much ketchup falls out of her burger, and she reaches over to wipe the smear of ketchup away from the corner of Mina’s mouth. 

Mina doesn’t reply, only sticks her tongue out to lick the ketchup off of Nayeon’s thumb. 

“ _You’re_ gross,” Nayeon confirms, wiping her thumb off on Mina’s cheek.  

Mina gets pouty at that. Nayeon only laughs, reaches one arm over bop Mina on the nose lightly and steal a couple fries. It doesn’t take much to get Mina all whiny for her attention moments later, and the girl pries one of her hands off the wheel and locks their hands over the console.

Mina likes holding her hand the most, especially when she’s driving. Says it’s some kind of high school girl fantasy of hers, with a sparkling red convertible and a rugged, tattooed bad boy in the driver’s seat. Instead, she gets a nineties sedan and one hell of an Im Nayeon, a living, breathing definition of bad decisions and all that teenage rebellion that comes years too late. Nayeon's always been about the cute, lopsided smiles and soft fingertips that like to draw idle shapes on skin. She wears collared shirts that smell a little too much alcohol and smoke on the weekdays, and a leather jacket and worn down sneakers on the weekends. She's got a smile that manages to steal hearts — all teeth, with two front ones a little too big for her grin — and a pretty laugh worthy of being a well-kept memory in everyone's mind. 

She’s everything Mina wants, now and forever, and she doesn’t think anything is capable of changing it otherwise, not when Nayeon looks at her like she's the prettiest thing there is, calls her _her_ world, and kisses her like she’s her everything. 

“Love you,” Nayeon murmurs out of the blue, bringing their clasped hands closer to her. She presses a kiss to Mina's knuckles, even squeezes in a tiny bite that has Mina laughing and squirming in her seat at how ticklish it is. 

“Love you more,” Mina replies, shyly, and it feels a little like falling in love all over again. 

 

-

 

Car rides with Mina entail absolutely no destination — it only ever means Nayeon driving around aimlessly, flagging down whichever fast food joints Mina wants to tackle for the day, terribly out-of-tune renditions of whatever chart-topping song the crummy car radio wants to blare, and well, a _whooole_ lot of kissing. 

Mina kisses her at almost every occasional red light there is, all stop signs included too. It tastes like ketchup more than anything, and Nayeon likes the laugh Mina leaves against her mouth when the nth car behind them honks. Nayeon kisses her when they stop for gas, with the window rolled down and the sticky afternoon glow on their skin, when they’re waiting for milkshakes in the drive-thru, when she parks somewhere random just because she wants to make out. 

They kiss when there’s only one fry left, and both of them want it, so they go about it à la Lady and the Tramp, but a whole lot less romantic and  _way_ too much tongue. (Mina ends up getting it all to herself anyway.) They kiss when they’re stuck in the afternoon traffic jam, when there’s a honk that has them jumping away from each other at least every fifteen minutes (and Nayeon’s accidentally bitten down on Mina’s bottom lip a little too hard half the time it happens).

They kiss when the car’s parked and the sun’s setting, all of Nayeon’s favourite colours spilling across Mina’s skin, like a scene from every cliché romance chick flick there is, but there’s a shitty tree in the way of the sun so it’s not as romantic as it should be but Nayeon’s too busy kissing off the fruity lip gloss she bought Mina ages ago to care. They kiss until Nayeon’s leg cramps up from sitting for so long, and she settles on pressing Mina against the hood of the car instead. Mina’s (current) favourite song comes on the radio a little bit later, so they make out to that, too. 

They kiss until they can’t anymore, until Nayeon’s dragged all of the oxygen out of her lungs, until she's tired of kissing off all the sticky strawberries and cream from Mina’s mouth, until Mina’s lips are swollen in Nayeon’s favourite kind of way. 

The hood of the car creaks, just a bit, when Nayeon leans back on it beside her. Their knees knock, and Nayeon’s got a hand resting on her inner thigh. It’s quiet, for the most part, other than occasional crickets and the hum of radio filtering through open car windows. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve been up here,” Nayeon says after a few beats, thumb rubbing small circles against her skin. “I didn’t realize I've missed it until now.”

It used to be a weekly thing for them, coming up here to watch the sunset (or well, just to make out). Life, unfortunately, doesn’t stop for them and it eventually gets in the way, and they end up trading sunset dates for exhausted midnights, countless ones where Nayeon slumps into bed without changing and Mina’s already knocked out before Nayeon’s done kissing all her lipstick off for her. 

“It’s pretty,” Mina comments, quietly, gaze directed at the colours spilling out across the horizon. Her hair’s tousled lightly in a way Nayeon likes, and her jacket’s threatening to slip off completely at one of her shoulders. Nayeon bites back the urge to press her lips to the exposed stretch of sun-kissed skin, right where Mina's neck meets her shoulder.  

Nayeon, instead, props her knee up and rests her cheek on her shin. “Yeah, real pretty,” she says absently, and it’s not the sunset she’s looking at.

 

-

 

Their love has always been carefree, constantly caught up in each other, and all about just _them_. 

They’ve always been about mornings spent sprawled out lazily in bed, afternoons with the sun hot on their skin through the open car windows, nights drenched in black, limbs tangled together and Nayeon snoring in Mina's face. Nayeon’s always been the kind of girl that mothers don’t want their good daughters hanging out with, cigarettes between fingertips, and crooked grins that are cute but gleam all sorts of mean. The same kind of girl that treats her like her entire world and reminds her of all the love she has for her, pulsing right underneath her skin.  

Mina’s always been a good girl, always has been and always will be. A good girl that likes the thrill of the all things that _aren't_ good, the same kind of things that'll sling a lazy arm over her shoulders and give her smiles made only for her and press genuine sentiments against her skin that's _so_ good and _so_ rich that it fills her heart all the way up to the brim. She’s a good girl that likes it all, all the bad and none of the good — all the smoke that melts into skin, all the alcohol left on their tongues, all the smeared lipstick on a mouth that isn’t hers.  

It doesn’t matter if they’re not even close to being the richest people alive, if Nayeon drives a beat up clunker that’s on its very last few runs, if their home is years overdue of reconstructive facelift more than anything, if they both hate their jobs to hell and back and only wish for better things in a world that’ll give them anything but that. 

What matters is here and now, where they have only each other because that’s the only thing they’ll ever need these days. Just each other. Mina and Nayeon. Nayeon and Mina. Just them, no one else.

It’s them, always will be, and a _whoooole_  lot of love. The world doesn’t stop, life goes on, and sometimes it’ll suck and sometimes it won’t. Sometimes days are slow and sometimes they won’t be. Sometimes Nayeon will breathe every single ounce of love she has for her into her lungs, and maybe sometimes she won’t, when she’s reminded of how absolutely terrible their circumstances really are and Mina has to kiss her until it’s alright, it’s fine, it’s _okay_. _We’re okay._

Nayeon might kick her habit completely, might not. She might make more promises, and she might break some of them or every one of them or maybe even none of them. She might tell Mina it’ll get better, and sometimes it might feel like it never will. 

She might do a lot of things, some of them no better than the other, but there’s only ever been one constant in her life:

She loves Mina, here and now, and she thinks she always will. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> twice is pretty fun to write for so i guess you'll be seeing me a lot more!! mainly for minayeon but there's some saida and sanayeon that's made their way into my drafts hehe  
> i've had this drafted for a while already and i get frustrated with my writing very easily so this is basically just an amalgamation of frustrated writing built up through the course of several months... but here it is, i guess.. it kinda sucks lol  
> this is a dynamic i kinda fw and t b h it feels kind of plotless but whatever, they're in LOVE!!! that's all that matters!!!!
> 
> thanks for reading!


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